Blog 10: I Don't Wanna Grow up, I Wanna be a Toys R Us Kid

I don’t want to grow up. All these kids around me are so excited to move out and grow up, but I kind of like how things are going right now. I am really excited to go to college and get out of high school, but I’m not excited to be an adult.

I can’t wait to meet new people and grow as a person and find myself. However, that is easier said than done. I don’t think people my age realize how easy they have it. Why would I want my parents to stop helping me and paying for things right now when I’m only 18? I don’t know anything about being on my own. Sure, I know how to cook and clean and do well in school, but that doesn’t mean much and won’t get me very far. I’m at the age where growing older doesn’t just mean more privileges, it means more responsibility.

I’m scared to throw myself into the career world. I am very blessed to be an 18 year old and know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m going to Mankato and I am going to go for secondary social studies education. My dream is to teach social studies in a high school and have my own classroom. However, it is a competitive job market right now and I don’t even know if I’ll be able to find a job. There is no huge need for social studies teachers at all. My dream might not be realistic and that is devastating and really scary. I may go to school and do well and then not be able to land a job. I may be that person living with their parents at age thirty or something. That would be terrible!

Growing up is scary; it’s not all fun and games. Success isn’t guaranteed.

Blog 9: High School vs Real World

I love watching people at lunch. Everyone turns into animals and follows an exact science. We all drop our bags and race into the line and grab our food. Freshmen walk nervously feeling out of place. Seniors walk with pride and push through everyone else rudely. We push in and forget our manners. We grab what we want and type in our code hoping we have enough money left because ewe forgot to ask our parents the night before. Then we run out back to our tables.

Girls sit down at a table with their Propel and chips filling in right beside each other as close as possible talking. They talk so much they can hardly eat. While boys, fill in on complete opposite sides of the table as far from each other as possible. They stay staring at their food and only acknowledge each other with grunts and then begin shoveling their over flowing trays in their mouths with two hands. It is so amusing to watch and observe.

People strive to be different and not follow the norm, but we are all still so similar at the end of the day. We come from the same culture, diversity cannot be by much. I think it’s funny that people think their lives after high school in the “real world” will be so different. There are still “cliques” in the real world; they are just based off of different things. Things like occupation, marriage status, income, and success. People will still judge you and make assumptions. There will always be people present in life to do that, it doesn’t go away. You still have to work for your title and your reputation can still be trashed, just on a different scale. There will still be annoying people at work you don’t like. There will still be someone too good and too rich, someone promiscuous, and an outcast. High school is a petri dish or sample platter of the real world.

Blog 8: I Remember...

I remember…the warmth on my skin.

I remember…the sun shine blocking my sight.

I remember…racing in my car to get there faster.

I remember…breaking multiple traffic laws.

I remember…running into the hospital.

I remember…causing a scene.

I remember…running up and down halls and stairs to find his room.

I remember…opening the door.

I remember…seeing his little body swaddled up with a blue hat on his head.

I remember…seeing his perfect skin and tiny face.

I remember…his little finger wrapping around mine.

I remember…being filled with instant unconditional love.

I remember…meeting my nephew for the first time.

Blog 7: What is most intoxicating; power, love, or fear?

I think power is more intoxicating than love or than fear. Mostly because with power, afterwards comes love and fear. People strive and will do anything to achieve power, especially men. People compete, succeed, and fail trying to reach power. Striving for power seems like a life goal to some people. Power gets you places and gets you things. Power means control and who doesn’t want to be in control?

Power brings love. Women lust for men in power because it is so intoxicating. Power makes people want to be you and have what that power has brought you. Power brings envy and jealously because so many people want it and desire it.

Power also brings fear. We are sometimes scared of power or more so the people in power because they are in control. We fear how power can take over one’s mind and consume their life. We fear too much power and one person controlling too much. We fear when we do not have power what will happen and where we will be. We like knowing what will happen and what will come. Humans like to have ideas and plans for ourselves and our future. When we are not in control or do not have power and our plans change, we become lost and uncomfortable. Not having power often makes us feel below what we are.

In our society and in the world power means success. Power means, money, happiness, love, and a fulfilled life. But do we ever achieve the power we strive for? Or, do we spend our whole lives chasing it? I feel like life is more about the journey trying to make it there. But, even if we do make it there will we truly be happy when we get there? I don’t think so, because then we will just want more and more and will never stop or be satisfied. Power can be an evil thing and negatively affect people. It is truly intoxicating.